With the May 12th deadline looming for America’s decision on the Iran nuclear deal, Boris Johnson has gone stateside to plead with Trump. Well, he’s gone to plead at Trump. Johnson is going to America not to meet with the President, but trying to get his attention by appearing on his favorite TV show. He’s trying to “speak to Mr. Trump directly”— a bit like trying to bribe your child to eat carrots by putting them in front of an iPad streaming Postman Pat. Fox and Friends is not just controversial — it’s a joke. As the very name suggests, it’s a parade of faces friendly to the Fox agenda and the President (to get a sense of the scale of ludicrousness, check out this article from Vice). It’s where Trump gave his recent incoherent interview, one that stretched even his ‘friends’ on the show to the utmost limits of awkward blinks and tense jaw sets. It is a circus. It is an embarrassment. And it’s where flop-top Johnson sauntered up to try to get Trump’s attention. And he did it, of course, through flattery.

“The president is right to see flaws in [the deal] and he set a very reasonable challenge to the world,” Johnson said. “He said: ‘Look, Iran is behaving badly, has a tendency to develop intercontinental ballistic missiles. We’ve got to stop that. We’ve got to push back on what Iran is doing in the region. We’ve got to be tougher.’”

The cause is no doubt an understandable one — many are concerned about what happens if Trump pulls out of the Iran deal, although Iran has signaled that it may be willing to stay in if other signatories do the same. But if Trump isn’t going to change his mind or if he doesn’t think Johnson’s voice is worth listening to (he doesn’t), then all of Johnson’s flailings on Trump’s favorite show aren’t going to do anything. A little pandering slotted in after Mr. Snake Oil himself, Dr. Oz, just makes the UK look weak and Johnson look weaker. So desperate to get the school ground bully’s attention that he’ll do anything, Johnson traveled across the world just to humiliate himself on Trump pornography masquerading as a news channel. These issues are huge, the stakes are high, but tap-dancing for an egomaniac isn’t going to get you anywhere. He’ll watch you, chuckle, and move on. The UK is better than that. And if it’s not, it should be.