It always puzzled me — why does every guy I want to be friends with try to hold my hand?
My rulebook for wanting to stay single:
I keep a 3 feet cushion space between me and him.
I avoid using wink emojis through text.
I deflect every flirty compliment or move he throws at me by shrugging it off.
I even tell him, “sorry I’m not interested in dating. I’d rather focus on work.”
I mean, how much more clearer can I be?!?
But then I realized, it wasn’t his fault for making the wrong move and jeopardizing what could have been a great relationship. It was me.
For the longest of times, I’d been giving guys mixed signals without realizing it. Maybe I’d been too sheltered during my 9 1/2 year relationship and never exposed myself to dating. Or maybe my bubbly personality naturally invited men to flirt with me.
Either way, I had to revisit the old-fashioned “dating rules,” which by the way…sucks! Because most of them are deeply ingrained into my personality and habits.
- Eating dinner together.
- Instantly replying to his text.
- Using emojis to express my mood.
- Smiling while talking.
- Giving lots of compliments (on his achievements, skills, dress style)
- Asking for his number.
- Wearing slightly more makeup than average.
- Making eye contact for more than 3 seconds.
- Mimicking his gestures, accidentally.
- Leaning forward on the table while talking.
- Wearing any shoe higher than an inch.
- Asking one question too much.
- Putting on perfume.
- Wearing skirts or dresses of any length or style.
- Being too nice.
- Being too worried.
- Getting a quick coffee or tea.
- Asking for his honest opinion or advice about an important matter.
- Sharing my past, and explaining why I’m doing the things I’m doing now.
- Inviting him to a game of pool, mini-golf, arcades, bowling, a hike, any small leisure activity.
- Dressing up as if I’m about to head to a house party.
- Being open about how I feel.
So guys, please don’t take my actions to a serious level yet. I may be open with my mind, but if my reaction tells you otherwise, it’s better we stay as friends.
Written by Tiffany Sun